So I’ve had this weird thing going on with my throat, so my doctor referred me to an ENT. I went to my ENT appointment on Tuesday and it turns out I have an ulcer on one of my vocal cords from acid reflux. Who knew? I don’t even get heart burn. Anyway, that’s nothing to really write home about, other than the fact that he put a fiber optic scope up my nose, around the corner, and down my throat to check things out and I felt like I was Neo from the Matrix. That and he gave me some pills to take. I hate pills! Yesterday I was able to get one down, but this morning I went through about a liter of water and the only thing that happened was the pill started to dissolve in my mouth and I spit it in the garbage and I had to pee four times before lunch. I hate pills! Yes, I’m using the word “hate” about pills. Why couldn’t he prescribe me some shots, or even some suppositories? Ugh.
That’s not the real story though, so I better stop stalling. The day after my appointment, someone from the doctor’s office leaves me a message asking me to call her back. Thinking it was some issue with my insurance, I called her back, but she didn’t have an official medical request at all. But instead, she asked if she could set me up with her friend from the office. She then proceeds to tell me how wonderful, and marvelous, and fantastic this girl is, just like anyone who ever sets up anyone with anyone does. While she’s shpealling off her resume to me, I’m putting two and two together in my head.
“What in the world”, I thought to myself, “this girl who I’ve never even met and just happened to notice me in the office yesterday went through the trouble to pull my file, check my marital status, and then call me up out of the blue. There are several possible causes for such an outcome. First, she could have thought it pathetic to notice me whimpering in fear at the thoughts of Morpheus plugging me into the Matrix, and took pity on me to boost my confidence. Second, her friend is Ugly Betty and this girl calls up every guy between the ages of 25 and 54 that checks single on their medical history. Third, whoever her friend is happened to mention to her that she thought I should comb my hair and decided to play a prank on her friend. Fourth, she happened to notice my posterior tautness and since she’s married wanted to have a vicariously good time with this hunk. –pause in thought– Nah, there’s probably only three possible causes for such an outcome. But still, that’s pretty flattering that she would want to set me up even though she only knew me by sight. I better say yes. Here’s hoping her friend looks like Trinity”.
Yea, I know, that’s a lot to process in a thirty-second phone call, but that’s how my mind works: mock speed in comparison to my tongue. So when it was finally my turn to open my mouth and voice my thoughts, all that really came out was, “Umm, sure, huh, huh”. I ended up calling her later that night and she seemed nice enough. But, I’m going to Las Vegas this weekend to watch the Utes play UNLV, so I told her that I would call her again when I got back in town to set something up.
For those of you that doubt the number of blind dates I’ve been on, let this serve as evidence, even complete strangers who I’ve never even said hello to will find a way.
To be continued . . . maybe . . . if you’re lucky . . .
That’s not the real story though, so I better stop stalling. The day after my appointment, someone from the doctor’s office leaves me a message asking me to call her back. Thinking it was some issue with my insurance, I called her back, but she didn’t have an official medical request at all. But instead, she asked if she could set me up with her friend from the office. She then proceeds to tell me how wonderful, and marvelous, and fantastic this girl is, just like anyone who ever sets up anyone with anyone does. While she’s shpealling off her resume to me, I’m putting two and two together in my head.
“What in the world”, I thought to myself, “this girl who I’ve never even met and just happened to notice me in the office yesterday went through the trouble to pull my file, check my marital status, and then call me up out of the blue. There are several possible causes for such an outcome. First, she could have thought it pathetic to notice me whimpering in fear at the thoughts of Morpheus plugging me into the Matrix, and took pity on me to boost my confidence. Second, her friend is Ugly Betty and this girl calls up every guy between the ages of 25 and 54 that checks single on their medical history. Third, whoever her friend is happened to mention to her that she thought I should comb my hair and decided to play a prank on her friend. Fourth, she happened to notice my posterior tautness and since she’s married wanted to have a vicariously good time with this hunk. –pause in thought– Nah, there’s probably only three possible causes for such an outcome. But still, that’s pretty flattering that she would want to set me up even though she only knew me by sight. I better say yes. Here’s hoping her friend looks like Trinity”.
Yea, I know, that’s a lot to process in a thirty-second phone call, but that’s how my mind works: mock speed in comparison to my tongue. So when it was finally my turn to open my mouth and voice my thoughts, all that really came out was, “Umm, sure, huh, huh”. I ended up calling her later that night and she seemed nice enough. But, I’m going to Las Vegas this weekend to watch the Utes play UNLV, so I told her that I would call her again when I got back in town to set something up.
For those of you that doubt the number of blind dates I’ve been on, let this serve as evidence, even complete strangers who I’ve never even said hello to will find a way.
To be continued . . . maybe . . . if you’re lucky . . .
7 comments:
Speaking of living vicariously, I'm pulling for you!
By the way, it cracks me up that you still have his pill issue. Mason can swallow pills!
That's exactly what I thought about the pills - that Mason can even swallow one, come on Dean! :)
I am excited for you and this mystery girl - do keep us posted.
Well, I doubt mystery girl will look like that nurse....what human being does without half of it being man made. But I hope she is pretty, fun, smart and interesting for you Dean! Let us know how it goes.
Hey slow down buddy - I am behind I know but Ty and Katie have a date for you too!!!! You need to call me so I can give you her number. She is all those things everyone says about blind dates, but in reality. Not that you should not go out with nurse girl, but try this flavor too. on board?
So how did it go?
Go, Dean Go! You too can learn to take a pill. Mommy Gayle will teach you if you need help...but more important...did you call again? Do, Dean Do! Not YOUR Mom,Katie's Mom/Gayle
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