Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Sports Stuff

A couple of things I’ve noticed while watching sports lately have bugged me. So, since I haven’t posted in a while, I thought I’d ramble about these two things for a bit.

The first is the way NBA players rub talcum powder in their hands. I just don’t get it. Is it for hygienic purposes? Personally, I don’t get sweaty palms playing basketball, only when I’m trying to call a hottie. And if that’s the reason, why don’t they bathe their head bands in it instead of their palms. Or are they trying to be polite to the other players so they won’t get sweaty hand prints on the back of their jerseys? That seems unlikely, since they throw a knee to the same guy’s teeth on the other end of the court if he tries to take a charge. And I’ve played basketball my whole life, and there is no way that stuff could actually help your grip on the ball. That powdery softness could only, if anything, make things more slippery. I think I would be nervous about a powdery handed defender bodying me up. I guess it’s better than hearing the snap of a rubber glove. But what’s worse, by far, is watching them load up there hand with a gigantic mound of the stuff before checking into the game, and throwing it up in the air. Is that showmanship? Or do they get focused as they watch the fluttering white particles fall over the time keepers head? The only sports motivational technique that is worse than that is watching a bunch of white cougar football players try to do a Polynesian Haka. It’s like watching a puff of smoke without a disappearing rabbit or a bouquet of flowers from their sleeves. It’s ridiculous and I only have one more thing to say about it: Abracadabra, loose the talcum!

Now, did anyone see Serena Williams at the Australian Open? Was it just a glitch in my television or was she wearing knee length purple spandex and a white tee shirt? The last I checked, women in professional tennis had to wear a tennis skirt to compete. Yea, her shirt was a bit oversized and it had two little slits up the side, but I don’t think that counts as a skirt. Normally, I wouldn’t even notice, but when I flipped the channel and saw her match, I could have sworn that it was Ray Lewis out running around the hard court. I thought that it might have been a celebrity match or something. She may be bigger than a linebacker, but if she is going to compete on the “women’s” tour, I think she should have to obey the dress code. It’s like in the workplace where the guys have to wear ties, pressed shirts, slacks, and polished shoes, and then there’s that one lady that gets away with wearing sweat pants and sandals. Besides, I don’t want to get all excited thinking that I’m going to see Ray Lewis pelt Monica Seles with an overhead if it isn’t really going to happen. I would imagine that would stifle her little screeching awe-HEH!





1 comment:

John said...

Kevin Garnett seems to be the most pro-baby powder guy in the NBA. I've definitely watched too much "Arrested Development", because every time he enters the game I start hearing "Final Countdown" by Europe as he prepares to amaze and impress by making a normal basketball disappear in a cloud of talcum.