Sunday, November 27, 2011
Thursday, November 10, 2011
The Entitlement Trap
I was able to go to a presentation and Q&A session tonight that was given by Richard and Linda Eyre, authors of The Entitlement Trap. It was a wonderful evening of insight and I thought I would write down some of my thoughts before I forget them.
1. Entitlement: This is the number one concern of most parents. They had statistics that approximately 80% of parents fear that their children will become entitled more than any other thing. Because this discussion was also given at BYU it had some religious tones to it and the authors argued that Satan’s plan was a plan of entitlement.
2. Ownership: The way to combat entitlement is to give children a sense of ownership. This ownership is given to children in several ways.
a. Strong Family Culture: This is developed through setting up easy to understand Family Laws that each member of the family must live by. They also suggest building a family Mantra that each member of the family should live by.
b. Stop being Managers and Start Being Consultants: This was a great way for me to think of this principle. Too often parents try to manage their kids in every way. Instead, we should try to become more of a consultant to them as they work things out for themselves.
c. Set up a Family Legal System: Rather than taking ownership in an argument between children, set up a family legal system ahead of time that everyone must live by. The authors, for example, had a repentance bench that the children had to sit on if they got in a fight until they could admit what they had done wrong and ask for forgiveness.
d. Set up a Family Bank: Rather than giving children an allowance, make them earn their money, learn how to spend it, save it, and give to charity. The authors go so far as to set up a family bank that their children can make deposits into after they have earned their money through chores. Then, they have family checks that they must use to purchase things. And their children must purchase everything for themselves through this system, including even their own clothes.
3. The power of Case Studies: The author is a Harvard alum, so he obviously loves case studies. However, I liked how he used case studies with his children. He would set up detailed, specific case studies that he would go over with his children and then at the end ask them what they would do in such a situation. Then, later in life when they are faced with a similar situation for real, they will better know how to react.
Those are the points I remember for now. I asked my friend for a copy of her notes, so if I forgot something when I get her notes I’ll add it later. One last thing that they suggested is a blog from one of their daughters that gets over 10k hits a day. Check it out here.
1. Entitlement: This is the number one concern of most parents. They had statistics that approximately 80% of parents fear that their children will become entitled more than any other thing. Because this discussion was also given at BYU it had some religious tones to it and the authors argued that Satan’s plan was a plan of entitlement.
2. Ownership: The way to combat entitlement is to give children a sense of ownership. This ownership is given to children in several ways.
a. Strong Family Culture: This is developed through setting up easy to understand Family Laws that each member of the family must live by. They also suggest building a family Mantra that each member of the family should live by.
b. Stop being Managers and Start Being Consultants: This was a great way for me to think of this principle. Too often parents try to manage their kids in every way. Instead, we should try to become more of a consultant to them as they work things out for themselves.
c. Set up a Family Legal System: Rather than taking ownership in an argument between children, set up a family legal system ahead of time that everyone must live by. The authors, for example, had a repentance bench that the children had to sit on if they got in a fight until they could admit what they had done wrong and ask for forgiveness.
d. Set up a Family Bank: Rather than giving children an allowance, make them earn their money, learn how to spend it, save it, and give to charity. The authors go so far as to set up a family bank that their children can make deposits into after they have earned their money through chores. Then, they have family checks that they must use to purchase things. And their children must purchase everything for themselves through this system, including even their own clothes.
3. The power of Case Studies: The author is a Harvard alum, so he obviously loves case studies. However, I liked how he used case studies with his children. He would set up detailed, specific case studies that he would go over with his children and then at the end ask them what they would do in such a situation. Then, later in life when they are faced with a similar situation for real, they will better know how to react.
Those are the points I remember for now. I asked my friend for a copy of her notes, so if I forgot something when I get her notes I’ll add it later. One last thing that they suggested is a blog from one of their daughters that gets over 10k hits a day. Check it out here.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
PIIGs Crisis Made Easy
http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2011/10/23/sunday-review/an-overview-of-the-euro-crisis.html
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Cool article about the Utes! Go Utes!
http://espn.go.com/blog/pac12/post/_/id/27577/pac-12-announcement-give-utah-a-break
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Some Challenges of Today's Church
I just listened to Clayton Christensen give a great speech on why we can’t create jobs in America. It dealt with some deep rooted paradigms in our business culture. He also gave three concerns he has with the current direction of the church to which I belong. I’d like to give a summary of those three concerns before I forget them. Maybe you’ll enjoy his perspectives as much as I did.
1. The church gives too much emphasis on the number of baptisms. Clayton suggested that instead of baptisms, the church should focus on church attendance. I couldn’t agree more. I had a very good friend who fell in love with a girl and she wouldn’t marry him because he wasn’t a returned missionary. My friend is the best Mormon that I know and is currently serving in his bishopric. Girls who are dating guys should look at if that guy is doing his home teaching rather than if he served a mission several years ago. What have you done for me lately? I think that is what the Lord is going to ask us and it is something we should ask of our members too.
2. Clayton put it this way, “Parents outsource too much”. A generation or two ago, children worked in the house, helping to make bread and can food and put oil in the furnace. Not only did they have to work hard, but they had to work hard for their parents. Today, much of the manual labor in running a home has been simplified and automated through modern conveniences. With our extra time, parents are now running their children around to different activities thinking that they are creating well rounded adults to serve. In reality, they are just working for their kids and their education isn’t as valuable as good hard work.
3. The Church’s capital is its members. And the Church’s capital is migratory. The members of the church make the mistake of looking for the “best” ward when they move to a new neighborhood. This is a mistake, because moving to the “best” ward often means moving to a ward with an abundance of capable people and the amount of service that any given individual has to perform is diminished. In contrast, they should look for a ward that needs good people so that they can give the amount of sacrifice and service that they need to give to grow and improve and help others.
Anyway, I thought they were great insights into the current affairs of the church and the challenges it is facing in today’s world. I hope they are as insightful to you as they were to me.
1. The church gives too much emphasis on the number of baptisms. Clayton suggested that instead of baptisms, the church should focus on church attendance. I couldn’t agree more. I had a very good friend who fell in love with a girl and she wouldn’t marry him because he wasn’t a returned missionary. My friend is the best Mormon that I know and is currently serving in his bishopric. Girls who are dating guys should look at if that guy is doing his home teaching rather than if he served a mission several years ago. What have you done for me lately? I think that is what the Lord is going to ask us and it is something we should ask of our members too.
2. Clayton put it this way, “Parents outsource too much”. A generation or two ago, children worked in the house, helping to make bread and can food and put oil in the furnace. Not only did they have to work hard, but they had to work hard for their parents. Today, much of the manual labor in running a home has been simplified and automated through modern conveniences. With our extra time, parents are now running their children around to different activities thinking that they are creating well rounded adults to serve. In reality, they are just working for their kids and their education isn’t as valuable as good hard work.
3. The Church’s capital is its members. And the Church’s capital is migratory. The members of the church make the mistake of looking for the “best” ward when they move to a new neighborhood. This is a mistake, because moving to the “best” ward often means moving to a ward with an abundance of capable people and the amount of service that any given individual has to perform is diminished. In contrast, they should look for a ward that needs good people so that they can give the amount of sacrifice and service that they need to give to grow and improve and help others.
Anyway, I thought they were great insights into the current affairs of the church and the challenges it is facing in today’s world. I hope they are as insightful to you as they were to me.
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